It’s almost that glorious time of year: good food, festive decor, family gatherings where relatives you may or may not talk to on a regular basis during the rest of the year ask you invasive questions about your dating life, lack-there-of, or the goings on of your uterus. Can’t you just smell the cornbread stuffing and discomfort?
I know we’d all prefer to just tell Aunt Trudy to mind her business, but that probably won’t make for a successful gathering. Just step away from the clap backs, friend. Plus you might get a whoopin from your mama. I don’t think it matters that you’re grown.
If you are heading into one of these situations, you’re not alone! Here is the one answer you need to get all of the the holiday merriment without the misery.
My mother actually taught me this – perhaps she learned it through people trying to get all up in her business, idk, but it’s quite brilliant.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you pray about it for me?”
Ok, now, the tone with which you say this has a lot to do with weather or not it works for you. If you do the squint plus head tilt and lace the phrase with more sarcasm then there are raisins in your Aunt Karen’s potato salad, then it probably won’t go your way. But if you can keep it on a sincere tip – it works wonders.
Asking them to take it to Jesus is pretty much the end all. I mean – what else can you say?
So when gramamma n nem hit you with the, “aww baby, you ain’t bring nobody to Thanksgiving this year? When are you gonna settle down?”
Your response, “You know gram, I truly don’t know. Will you pray about it for me?” Then scope out the nearest exit and head that way immediately.
When Uncle Roy goes, “hey girl, when you gonna birth some babies?” “You know Uncle Roy, I’m not real sure. Would you help me pray about it?” And hurry up and ask about something you know he can’t help talk about like his new grill or some some sort of athletic contest.
And best case scenario, they will actually pray for you. Who couldn’t use a little more of that? Even if you’ve made your mind up about whatever they are asking – going to God on your behalf doesn’t hurt a thing.
And if their questioning persists, stare at them and shove large, consecutive spoonfuls of yams in your mouth without breaking eye contact. They will probably label you the “special” cousin/niece/grandbaby who’s a little “touched” and say “bless your heart” to you a lot. But hey, it’s the price you may have to pay for your freedom.
Happy upcoming holidays to you.