Looking back on it – it was one of the most important and formative times in my life. Living through it, however, felt like a whirlwind of uncertainty – like life was just being extra. The awkwardness hit right at the onset of age 25 and wasted no time completely throwing me for a loop. I was later able to identify what had snatched me up by my edges as a quarter life crisis, which I define as a magical time around your mid 20s to early 30s where nothing is the same as it was and what it will be is wholly unclear. This is quarter life.
There was an amalgam of things that set me up for this wonderful period of existential dilemma.
I didn’t have any confidence in myself, my identity or my gifts – which, don’t get me wrong, I still am on a journey with to this day. I mean, getting to this point where I’m saying, out loud, that I have created something is incredibly nerve-wrecking and makes me want to hide out in a hidey hole.
What ended up happening as a result was that I stopped seeking after the life my standards would provide me and started settling for the life my confusion built for me. This led to a litany of decision making that did not serve me.
Let’s just say I had gotten into an entanglement with my insecurities and other’s expectations and wasn’t really sure how to get out.
I knew all of the things I was “supposed” to have as an “adult” but had none of them and didn’t know how to get them. The apartment or house, the boyfriend, the friends, the career – it all seemed illusive to me, but others my age were somehow stumbling onto them with no problem. The instagram vacations, fancy date nights, weddings and promotions begin to fill my timelines & feeds and I started to wonder how I’d missed it all. I also had no idea what to do with it when I got it – dating? That was a disaster. Friendships – that got interesting. Failing – there was so much failing. So much things.
Here’s the thing – I wasn’t missing life, and it wasn’t passing me by. It’s not passing you by either, likely. Truly. If there’s one piece of advice I could go back and give myself it would go something like this:
“Hey girl, don’t compromise your standards to chase after happiness. In fact, don’t chase happiness at all – it doesn’t actually mean that much. You are allowed to not know what you’re doing – put it in God’s hands, surround yourself with a healthy community, and relax. God knows the plans He has for you – it’s ok that you don’t. ”
This time in my life affected me so much that I wrote a whole book about it!
You can even download a FREE chapter from the book HERE!
This book has been a long time in the making and I’m thrilled and nervous and scared that it’s out there for you to read! Are you going through quarter life right now? Do you know someone who is? My prayer is that this book finds you right where you are and gives you some useful tools to, not just get through, but to live your best life through all of it! You can buy it here!