Have you ever felt like you know you need a change, and you even know what that change could be, but there’s just something holding you back? That was me leading up to creating this blog. I’d began to discover the direction I wanted to go – but I couldn’t bring myself to get there. It was all very stressful and unfortunate.
In my prayer time, as I was being all stressed and unfortunate before God. I was all, “God, I’m stuck. Idk what to do. I need help.” And God was all, “I need you to get it together.” (he talks to me like that sometimes.) What he told me next has changed my situation. And if you’ve ever felt like you needed help getting unstuck – it might just change yours.
What I found to be my biggest problem was…well, me. I was standing in the way of my own progress because there were roadblocks in my thought life I couldn’t get myself through. It dawned on me that “getting it together” meant asking for help from actual human people. Now, for some of you, this is not a big deal. For those of you who hang out on the introvert side of things – this might put a slight terror in your soul like it did mine. The truth of the matter is that God has placed people all around me who know more than me, who’ve accomplished more than me and who’ve had more experience than me. Me not taking advantage of that wonderful gift of external insight was about to be my downfall.
I ended up reaching out to a very accomplished woman who I’d not seen in years. It was nerve-wrecking. But, awesomely, she was willing to talk to me – and I spent the hour we were together crying like an idiot while she (lovingly) told me all about myself. And you know what, it was wildly embarrassing & exactly what I needed. James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask of God who will graciously give it to us. My mistake was putting God in a box – expecting some divine lighting bolt of inspiration while lying comfortably alone on my couch. Instead I got stretched & challenged. I’m much better for it.
If you are feeling stuck, it could be that you have not accessed an outside perspective. Here are 4 things to keep in mind when seeking it:
- Ask the right people
Proverbs 24:6 (ESV)for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.
When seeking guidance, an important key is to ask those that have more wisdom than you in that particular area. I know you have awesome friends, but if they are not already where you are seeking to go – they can give you opinion, but not necessarily wisdom. If you desire to be married, asking your single girlfriend for relationship advice will yield opinion, but not wisdom. If you desire to start a business, asking your broke friend is not going to help you. Ask those who are already where you desire to be in come capacity. This may require you reaching out to someone that intimidates you, or is outside of your immediate circle. Don’t ask who it is convenient , ask who is aspirational.
- Aspire to be Shaken
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV) And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another
The way to get something unstuck the quickest is usually to shake it. This applies to us as well. I like to refer to it as a loving karate chop to the neck, because somehow in my mind that makes sense. Once you’ve begun to identify who has the wisdom you are seeking, the goal here is not to look for someone who will tell you everything will be ok, and give you a pat on the back and some ice cream. Well, ice cream is always ok – but my point is, the goal is to look for someone who can identify what you’re not doing, the opportunities you’re missing and the flaws in your process – basically all the stuff that’s hard to hear, and then spur you on toward your purpose. Find people who value you enough to shake you up.
- Approach With Humility
Being shaken is rarely a fun process, but it is a necessary one. There was this part of me that used to be (and sometimes still is) intimidated by others and, on top of that, I felt that me lacking knowing somehow meant I’d failed – that it was a justification for my intimidation. As a result I would get defensive and let pride sneak in. In 1 Peter 5 – Peter is dropping all types of knowledge that can apply here, but verses 5 – 6 tell us to sit down, be humble and in that process God will help us on the come up (paraphrased slightly). Don’t be so proud that you cannot accept correction – humility will serve you well in the long run.
- Implementation & Iteration
Now that you’ve got all this wonderful knowledge, it’s time to put it into practice. Apply what you learn and understand that it may take a few tries or iterations before it becomes successful or fruitful. Put the work in and werk it til it werqs. Keep pressing, honor God, and watch Him take you to the next level.