Well, what a whirlwind 2020 has been so far. Pandemics, social distancing, the great toilet paper drought…. my goodness.
I took a social media/writing break for the first couple months because I needed it – life came at us fast in a number of ways the very moment the new year popped off. About halfway through the first month, though, the news of a lifetime made the break even more necessary. We found out we are expecting our first kid – yes…I’m finna be somebody’s mamma (I have to keep saying because I don’t actually believe it yet). So, how did I find out? How did I tell the hubz? How did we tell the rest of the fam? Here’s the whole story:
How I found out:
I was sitting at a late Sunday night dinner mid January with some folks. It was all very regular. The dinner was an impromptu one at the end of a long day of extroverting so I was a little loopy – I don’t get my life together well when I’m tired and drained of all social energy and, yet still around people. Anywho…there I was, sitting at the table minding my own business when a thought crossed my mind: “huh, I’m a few days late. I’m sure it’s fine, I’ve been off by a couple of days before, no biggie. I’ll grab a test tomorrow but I’m sure it’s nothing.” I thought no more of it and tried to keep my eyes open, life together, and thoughts and sentences coherent for the rest of the night. I wasn’t successful, but, nevertheless that was that.
Monday’s are our typical family day / down time (if you’ve been hanging around my social, you know them as “Smondays” because they are like most people’s Saturdays. I digress). Smonday evening I thought about it and had to run to the grocery store anyway, so I grabbed a super cheap, single test while I was there. No need to take it too seriously, I thought.
I got home and took the test. This particular test gives you a “+” for “yes, your uterus has a tenant” or “ – ” for “nope you’re still only one person.” What did I get? “ | ”
What did that even mean? That was neither of the options listed on the box. I was confused, perplexed, befuddled. I determined it inconclusive – I slammed down a large glass of water and left the house again.
To Walgreens I went – I grabbed another test – and booked it back home. I took the test. This time there would be two lines “ | | ” if you were carrying human life or one on the right side “ | ” if you were not. What did I get?
“| “. One line on the left side. Again confusion….there’s no way I thought. Inconclusive. Giant glass of water – I’ve legitimately never been so hydrated. Back out a third time.
This time it was CVS that got my business. I acquired a digital test with words because this line nonsense had me totally thrown. Two tests in the box this time. Back home I went. Used the test. Set it down. Closed my eyes. Waited two minutes…. Looked down. “Yes+” it said. I think I stopped breathing for a full 60 seconds. I went to bed that night convinced all three of the tests were lying to me. I woke up at 6 am. 4th test. Two super bold lines exactly where they were supposed to be …I guess this is happening.
How I told Andrew:
There was no way I was going to carry this information alone for more than 24hrs. It was too much. The news was too big. And, mostly, I didn’t want to freak out by myself and, knowing my husband, he wouldn’t freak out he would…well, I wasn’t sure. I clearly had never told him anything this big. So I made sure he was coming home at a reasonable hour (which I never do, so I think that tipped him off a bit.”
I had my phone set up for video, which is not unusual as you’ve seen him in a few videos here already. He came in & I told him I needed him to do a video – a follow-up to the “ Love Language” post I’d done not too long ago. I told him I had a gift for him that, even though gifts are the lowest of his love languages, he’d be impressed with. I put a white & gold gift box in front of him & asked him to open it. Inside were the millions of tests I took, a pair of tiny human sized socks and our #OneMooreIsahaq hashtag from our wedding (“Moore” being my maiden name) amended to #OneMoreIsahaq (see what I did there?).
He stood there for a moment, I believe his first words were, “Waaaaaiiiitttttt thooughhhhhh…. Is this real???” After the info finally digested – all smiles. He’s very excited.
With our parents, we followed the same strategy. I bought little baby booties and wrapped them in a tiny box. Brought each parent their gift & filmed their reaction as they opened it and realized what it ment. First the pause: then my mom told me to “shut up,” which she meant in the proverbial sense. My dad, I think, was in shock. My mother in law let out a long gasp and held her breath – I thought perhaps we might have to resuscitate her. However, all was well, I did not “shut up” and everyone kept breathing. Fun times.
With some other members of the fam, we told them we wanted to take a picture. We’d take one, I’d “fix something on the camera” which really meant I’d start recording a video, and then would tell them to say “cheese” on 3, They would – but we’d say we “were having a baby!” or something to that effect. That has been super fun. The variety of reactions has been heart warming, surprising and hilarious.
Finding fun & creative ways to tell the fam has been a really fun part of this for us. I highly recommend getting as many reactions as possible on video. It’s so much fun to see, to laugh about, and to share in because your first kid is super big news.
So here we are, about to be first time parents in our mid 30s. Our little offspring is due in September and we are just trying to get ourselves as prepared as one can be to grow and produce a whole tiny person. Now that I’m entering my second trimester (that first one is no joke ya’ll – more on that next week) I’m feeling a little more physically ready to take life and all of it’s impending changes on. Life is about to get crazy(er). So, I guess, here we go!
Have you ever delivered life changing news (a kid or something else) to your family or spouse? How did you do it?