How to Have a Responsible, Not So Traditional Baby Shower

Lifestyle + Family Self Care + Confidence

baby shower outfit socially distanced non traditional couple black woman interracial
Somebody’s Mom & Dad

Masks. Social distancing. Gallons of hand sanitizer. What a time to be alive.

For a lot of preggies, such as myself, it’s really difficult to navigate the conventions that go along with producing a human in the midst of all that is going on. Drive-bys have taken on a whole new meaning and Zoom has been party central for a lot of us. So I thought of some ways to have a responsible, not so traditional baby shower – feel free to steal some tips.

Personally, I really wanted to have an in-person baby shower – pending proper safety measures, of course. In some ways, even more than my wedding showers and what have you, my family baby shower was more meaningful to me. Likely because having a kid was something I questioned if I would do for a very long time and making the decision to become a  mother was quite a big deal for me. And, therefore, so was the shower. As someone who also favors a bit of the “non traditional” and who is very intent on keeping people safe during this time, I decided to plan this one a little differently. And, I gotta tell you, it was the best baby shower I’ve ever been to. Here’s what had happened:

Planning: I involved myself in the planning, which the baby mamma doesn’t usually do. Plus, honestly, I’m really bad at planning things. But I knew I had a specific vision, certain norms I wanted to avoid, and some precautions I wanted to put in place – so I figured that was the best way to do so. With the help of my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my cousin – who are way better at life than me and creative and amazing people, we were able to team up and put together a great shower. 

One of the norms that my family usually doesn’t adhere to with baby showers was that it be just ladies. It was co-ed. The absolute most important thing to me at any event really, is that I have my family – all of em. Andrew felt the same way. So I set out to make the decor, activities, and environment  pretty neutral so everyone felt welcome to party. 

Safety: The Rona is real. I definitely had that at the top of my mind and went back & forth with plans because of it. From holding it in a backyard to on a rooftop to in our driveway – it was a difficult decision. Ultimately I ended up with an inside/outside model. Huge room with high ceilings that had a big garage door we kept open. Air flow was paramount, I didn’t want people sitting in a room circulating stale air, and corona droplets. We put some chairs outside as well so folks could take a break from wearing their mask if they chose. 

As for masks, we requested everyone wear one and even had a basket of them at the entrance in the event someone forgot theirs. Except for a few pictures and to eat, folks were masked up the whole time. 

masks hand sanitizer baby shower socially distanced

The shower was “open house” style, meaning people could drop by within the hours of the shower but didn’t have to feel obligated to stay so as to limit the amount of people in the space at one time. For that reason, there wasn’t a lot of seating – mostly high top tables with no chairs. Only 2 tables with chairs were inside – the rest of the seating was outdoors. So as to say, “I’m so happy you’re here! Take a load off – ok that’s enough you should go k thanx bye.” I preferred that over forcing people to stay for 2-3 hours at an event anyway. I know they have lives…they should live them. We suggested people leave young kids at home since it’s difficult for them to social distance, but left it up to their discretion.

Games: I must admit, baby shower games are not my favorite. When I attend showers, the only way to keep that part interesting is to, what I like to call, “play creatively.” Now, some other people have labeled that “cheating” which I do not ascribe to and am very offended by the implication that I would do such a thing. 

baby shower activities ideas

With that in mind, as well as the fact that I’m an introvert and like to keep things very introvert friendly – the activities were quite low key (as well as social distance friendly). There were coloring sheets & markers scattered around so people could color an alphabet which will be made into a book for the bambino. There was a station to decorate onesies with the help of a cricut – which I’d never heard of before until my cousin & sister in law put me on game. And there was a basket of cards people could leave advice on. Activities could be done at guests leisure when they felt safe to do so. Good times. 

Decor: I am a laid back lady. But aesthetics is where I get picky. Certain things make my eyes twitch and I didn’t want any twitchy moments, nor did I want the stress of all it takes to make things look amazing. Cue White Dandelion Events, a local event decorator who I already knew would kill it. I gave her a pinterest board, answered a few questions from her and she did her thing. It looked amazing! Very reasonable rates & high quality results. I’m here for it.

DJ: Yes, I wanted a DJ. I wanted to party! It’s a celebration after all. We enlisted my brother in law who is a real life DJ anyway to keep things party-like, and boy did he. I must admit, he was highly confused –  he’d never been to a baby shower before, let alone DJ’d one. And to be honest, I’ve never been to a shower with a DJ either. I asked for club jams circa the early 2000s, sprinkles of Beyonce so I could feel strong enough to bear these children then get back to business, and told him his goal was to make the pregnant lady twerk. It happened. I’m still tired ya’ll and that was 4 days ago. But I knew I wanted people to dance & have fun so that’s exactly what we did. 

baby shower socially distanced responsible non traditional

Fit: I didn’t want to do a traditional ‘gown & flower crown’ situation. I thought I’d save that for maternity photos or something. Instead I went with a dress by Nasty Gal (which has been a maternity favorite), heels from DSW (with backup Target sandals for when I needed a break) and a designer mask (because I still needed to be some type of extra, of course) by KTR Collection in Vintage Rose Purple.

Overall, a good time was had. We danced, ate, and partied as responsibly as we could. Andrew and I were so blessed by all of the gifts that people brought (because we own no baby things and there are about 50-leven things you need – it gets very confusing) but, like I stated before, it was more important than anything to gather with loved ones to celebrate this tiny human who will be here soon.

That’s it! What questions do you have? Have you planned a shower before? What traditional things did you keep or toss?

Socially distanced baby shower 


    Lilliane Ulmer

    November 4, 2020Reply

    I enjoy your writing so much Mrs. Kasidy!! You have quite the talent!! And I am so proud and happy for you & your husband and now son. Keep being you it’s what you do best!! Enjoy!! love you always.. Sis Lil

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